The Queen Of Hearts

Sunday, April 30, 2006

9:18 PM ;

i feel so lazy... so many ppl start blogging alr... i better do as well.. see, how competitive m i huh..

right right right...i m so thankful tt 2ml is a public holiday... holiday = rest day... no.. not really, perhaps can do more work i guess...

yeo's email are often so pressurizing.... in the email, mentioned: Good chance to stay up late into the night you owls and get some work done.

er... yes.. i am i am ok...

2dae heard kris said some stuffs tt really got me touched... like how UthNiTy has inddeed lost tt kind of touched we once had ... iwan mentioned mentioned in his blog too, often crossed my mind too... i confesss, tt at times i dun even feel like attending youth after service.... i have my reasons, n yes, eventually becomes excuses....

i noe UthNiTy still stands a chance to be back together, its not gonna end like this.. yes, we are all busy with our own lives... but whether these bros n sis occupy a large part in ur life, it depends on ur desire to allow them to enter ur life, to share ur life.. cmon ppl, we can do it... we just need to put in more of tt effort..

i hate to be mistaken abt who i actually am.. just gt mistaken 2dae wen some1 mistaken me as desiring to do something else.. sometimes i just cant help but reflecting upon my own life, my own attitude n how i often expresses myself.. i m not angry with tt person, but just myself tt sometimes i m doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things at the wrong time..

i am wronged...

its all wrong..

things go wrong..

things are fine really, but y all these pessimism... iiiidiooooot...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

7:50 PM ;

i was on the bus this morning.. n then wrote this....

the window beside me was all so misty,
i couldn't see a thing.
the raindrop came, pelted on the panes,
now drips down hurriedly.
i thought now i can see,
but it was only within such narrow, limited space,
i could see...
but yes i know, it was barely anything,
in fact, nothing seen.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

11:23 PM ;

went out with my darlings 2dae..

*shy *krin *py* cy* eve *dj *benji *engkian *junxiang

10 wonderful ppl... hrs of good time... jokes, play, talk, eat, takin photos..

it was so worth the time..

thanks ppl for sacrifcing time for me, to py who still came down after church albeit the upcoming test she'll be having... dj for coming down despite in his DB camp for past few days.. to benj, engk, junx, krin, cy n eve, for making the time out with me, though ur re-openin sch 2ml n yes, ur being ur, need rest! n lastly, shy, for once again helpin to org this ...

thanks for the money spent on food 2dae with me, n nt forgettin presents.. hey i love u all... thanks i really do..

oh man.. its like almost 3 more days, 72 hrs, 4320 min n 259200 sec to my legal age!!! yippee yippppeeee yea!!!

i m gonna 18 soon.. watch out ... =)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

7:03 PM ;

almost 2 wks of emotional perriods...

finaly 2day marks the end to late nights in sch for dance, enjoying so much of street dance with ms jamie, ms sally n ms ruo ning.. yet, it marks the beginning to focus, concentration, texts, notes, consultations n not forgetting late nights mugging

how ironic is tt when in the midst of practices, busi-ness, when u r supposedly to be improving urself, ok.. physically, or even mentally, i am actually not.. yet, it was in tt moment of quietude and tranquility tt u discover urself even more..

last wk was 1 wk where the few of us sit down n engages ourselves in discussion pertaining spirituality fulfillment, spiritual experience n religious encounter.... discussions concerning how one must be in search for answers to vindicate our our spirituality level tt, such pursue for answers for faith actually brings us further away from our faith.. this is getting too far-fetch i know... n yet, the group concluded with the help from tchers, tt being religious is not being spiritual... encountering a religious experience is not encounting a spiritual experience... and anyone can fall... anyone can lose their faith in just one snap of the finger when one meets a spiritual crisis... its not easy to lose ur faith though, its not a simple once u realised tt u've actually this sense of rootedness. this sense of anchorage is.. gone....

how then can we stay standin firmly to the groud.... how then can i find these answers when we constantly ask, doubts and think about our existence, regarding oour faith, esp when we feel desperately in need of some quick fix..

no .. i dunno.. i dun have the ans... i hate being melancholic regarding such issues... so depressing, feel so into the sense of nothingness... literature got into too much of me... i cant help it...

in life, we constantly asks qns

life often makes us ask qns

but they do nt ans them