The Queen Of Hearts

Monday, March 13, 2006

6:42 PM ;

2dae is 1 nah nah day... whatever tt means *shrugs shoulders*

went sch for Lit Lecture this morning...

n yes... at the end of the lesson, i went up to Mr Sas

during tutorial last wk, he gave back our test papers to us, i gt 5 over 25.. he mentioned almost every 1 is the class, Oh wait, i think is every 1 in the cls, regarding what n where their probs is, how to improve, or even praises some .... EVERYONE... except me...

i admit i was really disappointed.. i mean .. it kind of sends me a msg tt i m kind-of hopeless....

like yea.. every1 gets commented but nt u... if its nt alr hopeless den y so?

i dunno if i m right but..

Mr Sas replied: u noe, wen i alr lost hope, its wen i dun say anything..

almost immediately , i feel tears in my eyes..

i hate being such a WOOSY.... tears for every little thing tt is said or happened...

he said it jokingly mind u, yet i just felt tt pinch in my heart, inside me, the voice, "i think u r really hopeless"

i replied Mr Sas,"yes, i gave up hope on myself too"

i noe i noe, i m just but a silly gurl it seeems, obviously, (mayb) he's joking... n obviously, i m nt supposed to give up, n MOST obviously, that voice inside me, its nt from me or God, y do i believe it anyway?

how to improve? i often doubt myself at being able to do so... how to score A? i mean okay, B???

my auntie just promised me, she'll bring me on a hols if i get at least 3 Bs...

can or not?

A level's IS NOT something i want to pass, its something i MUST EXCEL...

there's too much voices inside me, i m so confused

PeiJun, SHUT UP and just get on with it...

n i mean really, SHUT UP